Are things better left unsaid??

February 10th, 2011 · · Uncategorized No comments

Having the power to say inappropriate shit to girls is a gift. And yes I have that gift. I think…. haha It takes time to develop, its a test of trail and error. And once you start saying inappropriate shit, its actually fun and addicting! But how do you master that skill and say the wrong things with the right tone? below are two examples for saying the wrong things:

Case studies:
Wrong Wrong and still Wrong without the right tone:
My friend told me he was at a house party(Halloween) one time. Some dude told a girl she looked like a guy… When she was obviously a girl, since her costume was slutty Tarzan. And for sure that didn’t end well. Say the least he got kicked out of the party and got his ass kicked! haha totally deserved it!

Wrong yet funny and charming:
I met a girl at a bar. We started talking and I told her how girls are like little dogs. How they are cute but annoying since they bark sooo much. She started laughing and the night went well!

My rule of thumb:
1. Say things that will dis girls in a cute way!
2. Never say things that will HURT them! AND I MEANT HURT THEM!
3. Bait them with funny stuff and make them feel like they are getting a treat! because they are getting the better end of the deal by talking to you!
4. Never over think your sentence, cause you will end up not saying it!

My conclusion: Holding on to a nice yet funny conversation is an art! But importantly choosing words that won’t imply cynicism but yet funny is difficult! So are things better left unsaid? No. Because I think jokes are worth a try. Not to mention its probably the easiest way to undo a girls natural armor on all the approaching guys! So crack the joke who cares if the girl doesn’t like the joke I’m sure your friends will still think its funny! After a few times of practice you will be the interesting lady’s man!

Dress To Impress Or Depress?!?!

December 22nd, 2010 · · Funny, Relationship, Uncategorized No comments

Last week during my break at work I decided to go and have a beer at Bjs. (the restaurant!! Stop the nasty thoughts!)But now I am super confused about what I should dress like? So here is how the story goes.
I was talking to some girls and this is how the conversation went…

Conversation 1:
Girl1: So what do you do?
Me: I’m a full time programmer but I hate it. I like designing. Web designing would be my niche.
Girl1: Are you gay?
Me: Thinking (are you good)… I think I am
Girl1: Nooo, I’m asking are you gay?
Me: OOO but nooo! Do I look gay to you?
Girl1: I don’t know you dress nice and you like designing….

Anyways, where did girls get the idea of dressing nice or liking designing as a marker as being gay? Straight men can like style too! David Beckham is the best example he is straight and married but he always looks super nice!

Conversation 2:
Me: What do you like doing on the weekends?
Girl2: I like riding my motorcycle around.
Me: Really? Wow I love girls that can ride!
Girl2: Yeah, I love riding its awesome.
Me: Just don’t fall off the bike it hurts like a bitch.
Girl2: I bet it did. (Giggles)
Talked about random stuff for a while….
After 20 minutes she tells me she has to leave. But she proceeds to talk to me for another good 10 minutes before she actually leaves.
Guy next to me: I think she really wanted you bro.
Me: Really? Interesting.

So what the hell girls? Make up your minds. Do you want a man that knows how to dress and have style? Or do you girls want a man that looks like shit all the time? What’s it going to be? Isn’t being cleaned up a nice trait? Give me some suggestions girls?!?!?

PANDEMIC: Happiness :]

December 20th, 2010 · · Relationship, Serious Talk, Uncategorized No comments

The other day my friend told me, she decided to get back with her ex boy friends, after going to a wedding with him. (btw Happy for you:]) But how did that happen, it made me wonder. It made me realize, happiness comes with relativity. So what the hell does that mean? Basically it means that the mood of the general atmosphere can change the mood of others.

Simple example imagine going to a party, imagine everyone quiet at the party. How fun would that be? But now imagine rowdy people at the party. Because of those rowdy people, can you see yourself having fun already? Trust me this works even if you are the quietest person, because the happy feeling rubs off each other. And all it takes is a mood change to make something good or bad! (But choose wisely! haha)

Like my friends case. Although she was supposedly in an unhappy relationship before; but after seeing the happiness that the newly weds are bringing, it just changed the feeling! The relationship just makes sense and things just start to feel right again.

I view happiness as a form of pandemic; it spreads through peoples minds. It’s the feeling you want. You just need to let the happiness flow through you and your relationship. It is highly contagious!

So next time when you are having some rough patches with your girlfriend or boyfriend, why not bring her or him to a wedding or an art gallery; enjoy each other by being happy. Look at how other people enjoy their relationships. Sense their happiness. Let their happiness translate into your own happiness, forget about the unhappy it’s irrelevant. Have fun with each other again. Don’t be bitter that other people are happy in their relationship, because deep down inside you are too!

So seriously am I right or am I RIGHT? What do you think? Do you think you can share happiness? Do you think you can fix your relationship by feeling other people’s happiness?

Expiration Date: xx/xx/20xx

December 3rd, 2010 · · Relationship, Serious Talk, Uncategorized 5 comments

“Thank you all my subscribers!” Ever since I posted the last blog about the straightest gay kiss, I feel like I have increased in viewership! My wolf pack has grown by one! (Hang over speech! haha) Thank you for all your support! We are now 6 wolfs strong! To show appreciation towards all the reader I am going to start posting more and more stories! But for today I am going to post a slight more sophisticated topic; on the view of relationship.

It all started with a bowl of cereal and some expired milk. One time my friend was eating a bowl of cereal and it had a bizarre taste. The more he ate the funnier it tasted, but it was not until a few spoons after he realizes the milk had expired for over a month. As I was laughing at his funny expressions, it also reminded me the expression I make when they make fun of my past relationship. But why and you may ask?

STOP HERE & THINK FOR A SECOND: What happened at the end of your past relationships? How did it end? Making a funny expression yet? (Stop lying I can see your funny expressions!!!)

The ugly sad truth is relationships do have expiration dates as well. As the relationship gets closer to the expiration date the sweet taste converts into a slight bitter taste. And when the relationship gets pass the expiration date the taste will turn bitter and sour.  Yes, that is the truth! It is a miserable thought but a realistic matter. Every relationship is different so every expiration date is different. Some expiration dates gets extended and some don’t. But always remember to enjoy it while it’s still fresh and unexpired.  Add preservatives extend the expiration date. Get the most out of it, because once the expiration date is up all the feeling changes and it will no longer be the same. Never make promises you can’t keep. Because once the relationship expires those promises expires and will never again be exchanged. You do NOT want to regret anything once the expiration date is up.

Importantly take all your past relationships as a learning experience; learn from it, forget the unhappy. Once you remembered how enjoyable the relationship was during the unexpired time, you would be able to turn the bitterness into a bitter sweet; like dark chocolate. And you will start making that funny expression as well!

WTF?!?!?! No Idea….

December 1st, 2010 · · Funny, Relationship, Uncategorized 8 comments

I’m always looking for new funny stories and inspirations to write on brybrary. And as most of you who actually read my blog will know (which consist of maybe 5 people), I haven’t been updating the blog for a very long time! So here I am explaining my aberrant action packed Saturday night. I have yet to reassure you this. It is one of the weirdest behaviors I had while being drunk; and yes trust me I have done a lot already.

Topping my drunken aberrant behavior list; I kissed (Not Makeout) a random dude at a bar as I was told by ART, DANNY and EMMANUEL…   (But thank god I don’t remember what happened) and no it’s not like Katy Perry where I kissed a guy and I liked it….

But in order to get to the full scoop of what happened we will have to back track a day. Friday afternoon I went to Safeway and bought a bottle of whisky that came with a flask! Believe it or not, the flask is cooler than you think. Since I got the flask it is only logical to use it like a champ. Well, what’s detrimental about it right, it’s just a giant shot glass! But NOOOOOO… I was totally wrong.

You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a little bit of an attention whore. (Like the hangover speech from Alan) I know the best way to get the attention is to show off how I down alcohol like water. For those who are also attention whores try it; it will work like a charm! So anyways I downed a bunch of whisky and I downed a bunch of Goldschlager; it started my awesome Saturday night.

Saturday
11:00PM – We went into the bar, paid the cover.
11:05PM – Took a long pisses! (One of those better than sex pisses!)
11:10PM – Walked around the dance floor.
11:15PM – Went back to the car down a lot more alcohol.
11:30PM – Back to the bar drank a few beers.

11:30PM – ???: No memory, NOTHING. But I apparently puked everywhere and kissed a random dude. (I hope he is at the least good looking, so I can brag to my female friends) and as for those who know what happened reply by commenting!!

Sunday
09:00AM – Woke up in a sleeping bag hung over…
09:05AM – (**Laughing) questioning myself why did I drink so much…

Conclusion: I did pretty well for being a straight guy! Kissing a random guy in bar CHECK! One less thing to do on my life long bucket list, although it was never on my list. So for those guys or girls who are too shy to cross the line, whatever that line is. DRINK UP! The sky is the limit. I guaranty you success! True story!

Anyways, I am going to end my post here saying: “Watch it all you straight men, lock up your woman, I might come after them. And watch it all you gay men, lock up your man, because apparently I’m coming for them too!!!”

AND NO readers I AM NOT GAY!!!! (Fuck you! I know you’re thinking about that lol)

Naughty Girl or Nice Smile?

September 8th, 2010 · · Funny, Relationship, Uncategorized 3 comments

During the weekend my friends and I decided it would be a wise idea to go bar hopping, so here we are in line trying to get in. But as we got to the front of the line we encountered a real problem, my buddy’s girl friend had lost her ID the night before. To make the night epic we decided why not sneak her in!! So I quickly collected everyone’s ID and showed  it to the bouncer all at once, while he was busy checking the IDs I was trying to divert his attention even more by asking him question after question. As soon as the bouncer looked away my buddy sneakily grabbed his girlfriend and walked in without hesitation (Props to them btw)! So after the epic sneak in, I decided to take a short bathroom break! But by the time I was done I couldn’t find my friends (wtf since the bar was super small, but i guess it was pretty packed )… I ended up going to the patio area, since it’s always been my favorite area to meet girls! When you are at the patio area there isn’t music, it’s easier to meet girls, because you want to talk to someone (not to mention they can actually hear you)! But it turns out luck was not on my side this weekend; I was choking on all my conversations. The conversation starters were so boring and dry; even I wouldn’t want to talk to myself (Yes, choking does happen to everyone… I think)! Eventually, after chocking on a few girls I accepted the fact that it just wasn’t my day!

And as we were leaving the bar I smiled at some hot random girl standing next to the entrance. She smiled back and asked:

Rrandom girl: Hey, you want to slap my ass?
Me: Okay…(Thinking: WTF? haha)
Random girl: (lifts up her skirt!)
Me: (More WTF…)
Me: boom!
Random girl: Giggles!

And while I was wondering if I should talk to her, my friend’s girl friend quickly pulled me a side to keep me out of trouble! (It was a good decision… )

And yes, I guess my night was pretty crazy and action packed after all! But how did this happen? From choking on conversations all the way to slapping some hot girls’ ass! Not to mention I didn’t even have to do anything… The girl came over to me with an open invitation!

First, obviously alcohol were involved, but I know we were both pretty sober. Alcohol is good for easing tension and shyness; but it was definitely not the biggest factor here!  So I realized a nice warm smile goes a long way, sometimes a smile is better then any pick up line or conversation starters. Just smile and if the other person smiles back or in my case asked me to slap her ass that means she is interested.  Being able to give clear body languages seems to be another way to show off your charm and confidence! It’s a nice way to start flirting or to talk to someone!

Here are a few body languages to break the ice:

  1. Warm smile – Not the fake smile you do while you are brushing your teeth!
  2. Eye contact – exchange of eye contact, ogling.

Here are a few body languages after breaking the ice

  1. Eye contact – Look straight into the other person’s eye when you talk to them.
  2. Hold their hand – Walking through the dance floor while holding their hand! If they didn’t try to shake it off chances are good for you!

So what do you think? What kind of body languages are helpful and clear to read and give? Please comment on the post and share your own body language tricks!

Beauty and the beast…

September 3rd, 2010 · · Funny, Relationship, Uncategorized 2 comments

I believe everyone who had a childhood watched the Disney hit cartoon beauty and the beast or at least heard of it. So for a quick/brief reminder; as the title suggests, there is a beautiful girl and a ugly beast. And basically the beauty and the beast falls in love with each other, which eventually triggers a cure to the beast’s curse and magically turns him back into a handsome rich young man with a happily ever after ending! And recently in real life I have been noticing more and more of these couples with the resemblance of beauty and the beast… but of course without the new handsome rich guy.

So, Here is my dilemma… How do these couple end up together? Because, I would want to date someone at least equivalent to my looks. So are the beast daters taking one for the team, so the good looking men could be saved for team single girls? Sorry for being super shallow here, but isn’t physical attraction an important part of a relationship? And NO you(beast dater) cannot seriously tell me he looks attractive to you(Being a straight man I still know who is good looking and who is not)! So, out of confusion and curiosity I consulted a few of my close female friends who are beast daters. Surprisingly, none of them really cared about what their boyfriends looked like, all they wanted was a supportive boyfriend who can make them happy. So below are a few points I collected from my conversations with them.

List of things that seems to out weigh looks:

  1. Humorous – Makes the girl happy
  2. Supportive – Makes the girl happy
  3. Educated – Impresses the girl
  4. Confident – Impresses the girl
  5. Motivated – Impresses and makes the girl happy
  6. Baller/Rich(For gold diggers) – Not for everyone! lol

My final conclusion all of us single man should not hate the player but the game after all. Because I guess the truth is girls rarely care about what a man looks like. Looks can only travel so far in a relationship; the real attraction comes from the inner self and personalty. It’s similar to eating pesticide free grown fruit, although the fruit grown with pesticide could look better, we tend to eat the pesticide free fruit cause of its safer/better inner content. So for those who consider themselves as not attractive, should permanently stop being scared to approach pretty girls! Cause as long as you are charming in your own personal way you could be the next beauty and the beast!

Confident or Friendly?

September 3rd, 2010 · · Uncategorized No comments

The other day I randomly called up an old college friend I haven’t seen for three years to hang out. We ended up going to starbux. While trying to order a coffee I couldn’t avoid but to notice the cashier was pretty cute.
I then precede to ask her how her day was:

Me: Hello how was your day?
Her: It’s going well… Just started my shift…
Me: Oh, cool… So what time you get off?
Her: I get off around 6ish…
Me: Ohh…(cut off by my friend pulled me aside…)
Me: Okkkk…. talk to you later thanks! (btw cock blocked me for asking for her number)
Friend: (whisper) Are you hitting on the cashier…
Me: hummm…(Thinking…) I don’t think so…

Eventually, me and my friend get into this deep conversation about our life styles and he told me I was totally different since we met in freshmen year. He got me confused wondering what was different?  He said I am confident now and not shy anymore compare to the kid he met in freshmen year(happily smiling inside btw). But my life style hasn’t changed much since college? So now I wonder is being friendly and able to have conversion starters a promising trait of being more confident?

Often times when I go hang out at bars or super markets I love to strike up conversions with strangers. And luckily sometimes I do meet people that interests me… which of course I try to exchange numbers(well if she looks interested too). But the story usually goes into two predictable patterns:

  1. Never bother to call her back(Most story ends here)
  2. Send her a text with her name and a smiley face, so she remembers who I am. Example nicole 🙂 (Which btw actually works pretty well).

And usually when tactic 2 is implemented a phone conversation would follow… But we usually end up strangers again after a few days….
So, does that mean I am more confident compare to before or am I just friendlier and loves to have conversations with strangers?

I do think I am a lot friendlier compare to when I first started college, but in terms of the word confidence. I believe I still have a long way to go…But at least I am a lot more open friendly and fun! Below are a few tricks I learned and practiced to be more friendly and funny:

  1. Practice with strangers your not trying to impress like the old lady buying fruits.
  2. Who cares what others think! Just be yourself! Ask them a question.
  3. Talk to a guy stranger… And yes, it does sound gay(I have nothing against gay people! I have lots of gay friends! Not trying to be offensive just an expression!). But hey it works… a little bromance can turn into more confidence, because talking to a guy is easy. We are not trying to impress them! And Once we are confident talking to guy strangers change the subject to a girl stranger! (not to mention the dude might have cute girl friends)
  4. When a stranger talks to you talk back! It’s a open invitation for you to talk to them and practice your talking skills! Smoker example: When a girl asks you for a cigarette, don’t just give it to her and say bye… Make her stay to talk to you!
  5. Remember charming, humorous lines from books, sitcoms, friends where ever! Example:

Me: How was your day?
Her: good.
Me: Just good… nothing else? even the CLIFF NOTES would be fine!

Anyways, so if I am just more friendly compare to before how do I convert my friendliness into confidence? Or does being friendly translate into being confident? What do you think?